Lansdowne Road developer lunching out on Exchange Square

In case there was any lingering doubt about the corporatism which is taking over central Croydon, you might want to cough up nearly 70 notes for the “opportunity” to “enjoy” an “exclusive” lunch to hear a property speculator give “his vision for Croydon”. And you might even be able to “voice your opinion”.

Sky-high ambitions: probably with sky-high prices at the 1 Lansdowne development

Sky-high ambitions: probably with sky-high prices at the 1 Lansdowne development

If the previous paragraph has offended your bullshit detector, please don’t blame iC, but take up the matter with the Croydon Chamber of Commerce and Industry.

Under the heading, “CCCI Executive Club Lunch: A Futuristic Development Plan for Croydon”, they are flogging tickets for £68 (including VAT, which most attendees will doubtless reclaim as a “business expense”) for a boozy lunch at the Hallmark Hotel (that’s Croydon Aerodrome on Purley Way) on May 12, where the main speaker is David Hudson, the principal of Guildhouse Rosepride, the developers who are building a 69-storey tower on Wellesley Road.

“Icon” is one of those words which PR bullshitters have discovered and now use remorselessly about anything and anyone. But never about icons. Its misuse should be a warning to all to distrust anything which follows.

So beware, then, the Croydon CCI as it entices its members and others to this month’s “networking” lunch. For they reach for the icon from the start: “The iconic One Landsdowne Road skyscraper is just one of developments being planned by Guildhouse Rosepride LLP.”

That’s the towering edifice which includes in its plans a sky-high swimming pool between buildings – not an original idea, and quite expensive to engineeer, so potentially the first thing the developers will jettison when they look to cut costs. But the sky pool will have already attracted a few headlines to their publicity hungry scheme by then, so job done…

The CCCI lunch announcement does include a splinter of information about a long-neglected corner of Croydon: “Their plans include bringing the historic Pump House back to life as a tech hub and creating a Covent Garden-style events space in Croydon’s Old Town.”

A tech hub? Isn’t the council already giving away two floors of public office space for one of those? And an events space? Another one? Has anyone mentioned this to Hammersfield? Or Ruskin Square? Or Saffron Square?

The Chamber of Commerce bods do helpfully add: “You will also have the opportunity to ask any of your questions and voice your opinion.” Provided you fancy stumping up the 68 quid, of course.

Not that it will make any difference to the developers’ plans, or profits.

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3 Responses to Lansdowne Road developer lunching out on Exchange Square

  1. derekthrower says:

    Sixty nine quid for a lunch at the Hallmark hotel on Purley Way. Does something here for such a iconic development not really stack up. For the next one they will be charging a tenner in the local McDonalds for a cheeseburger.

  2. From my torture bench in the Nuffield Health Centre, just opposite the Hallmark Hotel, I shall keep a sharp eye out for the fat cats parading into the ludicrously overpriced lunch for the new development.

    Sixty eight quid to listen to a lot of advertising bumpf and hot air seems to quite a lot… but then, you will also have a chance to voice your opinion.

    Fat lot of good that will do….just join the other hot air in the phenomenal Purley Way pollution.

    I am thinking of interfering by staking the place out and offering the attendees my newly published Health Warning Thesaurus for Developments. In it I warn people to run a hundred miles at great speed from any prospectus that contains any of the following words: Exclusive, Collection, Unique, Hi-Tech, Opportunity, Hub, Awesome, Incredible, Prestigious, Stunning, Spectacular, Wonderful, Breathtaking, Ultra-Modern and Striking.

    Each and every one of these scores 100/100 on the IBM.*

    *IBM = International …you fill in the rest….

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