Sticking the rock into South Norwood Country Park

South Norwood Country Park, a slice of nature in the midst of suburbia, is about to rock.

The South Norwood Tourist Board are channeling Donald McGill by getting their sticks of rock out for the new year, to have “South Norwood” written all the way through.

A note was slid under the door at Inside Croydon Towers overnight. It reads: “For a meagre sum of money, people who visit South Norwood will be able to purchase a stick of rock to cherish the memory of their visit. What better way to remember your visit to South Norwood than by a hard stick-shaped boiled sugar sweet with South Norwood running through the middle of it?

“It is usually seaside resorts that spring to mind when thinking about rock, or the popular George Formby song about ‘His little Stick of Blackpool Rock’, but we want to change this by becoming the first London borough to produce this traditional seaside piece of confectionery.”

The South Norwood Tourist Board, who have managed to count the number of lakes in the area and have brought proper recognition locally to Sherlock Holmes author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, continue to promote the attractions of their part of south London.

“We are also going to produce some picture postcards later in the year to accompany our newly inspired sweet souvenirs and what better way than honouring the legacy of the original saucy seaside postcards by Donald McGill?

“We put out a challenge to any budding artists to design a postcard in the style of Donald McGill and if we receive one that captures his original tone and humour, we will get a limited stock printed.”

Offering tooth-rotting seaside rock outside the South Norwood Country Park may also prove a crucial turning point in Croydon Council’s hopes to build a six-forms-of-entry “academy” on the Metropolitan Open Land: modern health-conscious parents could opt to boycott busing their off-spring to the school for fear of the consequences, fillings and extractions. Not to mention the E numbers and colouring…

• For more nonsense from the SNTB, click here

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Coming to Croydon

• David Lean Cinema, Northern Soul, Dec 18
• David Lean Cinema, Hitchcock’s To Catch A Thief, Dec 29
• David Lean Cinema, The Beat Beneath My Feet, Dec 30

2015

• David Lean Cinema, The Hundred-Foot Journey, Jan 3
• David Lean Cinema, Mr Turner, Jan 8
• David Lean Cinema, Leviathan, Jan 13
• Norwood Society talk: Penge, the making of a suburb, Jan 15
• David Lean Cinema, The 78 Project Movie, Jan 15
• David Lean Cinema, Hannah Arendt, Jan 20
• David Lean Cinema, The Imitation Game, Jan 22
• South Croydon business breakfast, Jan 24
• David Lean Cinema, Night Will Fall, Jan 27 (Holocaust Memorial Day)
• David Lean Cinema, Kon-Tiki, Jan 29
• Norwood Society talk: Crystal Palace and Dulwich, Feb 19
• Norwood Society talk: Charlies Dickens in Norwood, Mar 19
• Norwood Society: Balloons and airships at Crystal Palace, Apr 16

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  Inside Croydon: Croydon’s only independent news source, based in the heart of the borough: 407,847 page views (Jan-Jun 2014) If you have a news story about life in or around Croydon, a residents’ or business association or local event, please email us with full details at inside.croydon@btinternet.com