Croydon’s Centrale and Whitgift shopping centres are staging a Dino Eggstravaganza this Easter weekend, what they call “a thrilling, prehistoric-themed experience for dino-lovers of all ages”.
Fun-tastic: drop in for a cuppa with a ‘life-sized’ dinosaur at the Whitgift Centre this weekend
So, full of the meaning of Easter, then…
From tomorrow, Thursday April 17, through to Bank Holiday Monday April 21 (but excluding Easter Sunday), “visitors can discover dino eggs, meet a life-sized dinosaur, enjoy theatrical storytelling and enter egg-citing competitions!”
Geddit? “Egg-citing”!
Dinosaurs and a vast, increasingly empty, shopping mall. Someone in Westfield’s marketing department didn’t think this through. Or, with the Whitgift Centre evidently closer to extinction every day, maybe they did…
The organisers fail to say what they mean by “a life-sized dinosaur”, since most agreed scientific records suggest that the smallest dinosaur discovered so far is Oculudentavis khaungraae, an avian dinosaur found preserved in amber that is so small it possibly weighed as little as 2gm, and was about the size of a tiny, little bee hummingbird . So that “life-sized” dinosaur, then?
Alternatively, the largest dinosaur ever discovered is the Patagotitan mayorum, found in Argentina, and estimated to be around 77 tons and 122ft long – significantly longer and heavier than any other dinosaur ever found – making the archetypal dino, a T Rex, seem positively tiny…
Life-sized: the Oculudentavis khaungraae was about the size of a small humming bird
So that “life-sized” dinosaur then?
If the management of Centrale and Whitgift do manage to haul a life-sized Patagotitan mayorum into their shopping centre, it would help to fill up the often deserted space in the long-neglected mall, at least. But it might just scare off the last remaining customers, and shop-keepers.
Given that the four days of non-Easter Easter activities are being run in conjunction with Croydon BID, the people who spent tens of thousands of pounds of public money on some fibre glass giraffes (and where, by mere coincidence, Mayor Jason Perry is a director), we probably ought not be surprised if what is passed off as a Patagotitan mayorum ends up being just a re-painted plastic giraffe.
The organisers say that their Dino Eggstravaganza, a “free, family-friendly event”, promises “hands-on activities, fascinating discoveries and dinosaur-sized fun for curious explorers of all ages”.
They say: “Families will encounter a prehistoric scene filled with dinosaur eggs, bones, fossils and even a towering life-sized dinosaur as part of the Dino Discovery Zone.
Much bigger: but Patagotitan mayorum is probably too big for the Whitgift Centre
“Young adventurers can step into the Dino-School, led by the interactive performers, where storytelling and fascinating facts about ancient creatures come to life in a fun, engaging way.
“Budding artists can also unleash their creativity in the egg decorating zone, where they’ll design and personalise their very own dinosaur egg, with prizes up for grabs for the most imaginative entries.
“Plus, little builders can enjoy the build your own Dino World area, a toy brick zone where imaginations can run wild.”
No booking is required, the organisers say, and events are open from 11am to 4pm from April 17 to April 21.
Matthew Sims, the Croydon BID bod behind the plastic giraffe scam, said: “The arrival of Dino Extravaganza into Croydon brings with it a fun and imaginative twist to Croydon town centre, creating a memorable experience for families and visitors this Easter.”
“Fun and imaginative”. “A memorable experience”.
Sims fails to say whether his mate, a certifiable Croydon dinosaur, Jason Perry, will be among the exhibits.
“We can’t wait to see the fun and smiles that it will no doubt bring,” Sims said.
Oh well. It all brings us just a little step closer to placing the order for our non-exclusive range of #SoEffingCroydon T-shirts.
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