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Selling a dream from £400,000 flats beside railway line

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What developers Redrow call the "Morello Quarter", their development at East Croydon which will have separate entrances for social housing and private residents

What developers Redrow call the “Morello Quarter”, their development at East Croydon which will have separate entrances for social housing and private residents

1pm UPDATE: Seems that the nice people at the Redrow marketing department may have had second thoughts about their soft-focus soft-porn for their over-priced London flats.

Their two minutes of carefully crafted advertisement video appears to have vanished from the interweb. Of course, this may be something as innocent as “technical issues”. Or it might be because someone has decided that maybe, just maybe, it is just a touch too tacky, even for property developers.

It had all happened within a couple of hours of Inside Croydon posting this article drawing attention to the somewhat pretentious piece of real estate salesmanship, featuring a sub-James Bond character with Beckhamesque facial hair and a horribly outdated mobile phone.

Fortunately for our loyal reader, however, the Torygraph had also noticed Redrow’s nauseating property porn, and they secured a version of it before it could be wiped from the interweb,  so you can see it by clicking here (presumably until Redrow’s legal department stick their oar in).

Our report originally began thus…

Disappointed property-hunters now find this message where the Redrow property porn video was once to be found

Workmen have been seen this morning on Menta’s Cherry Orchard Road, where  they are building hundreds of yuppie flats – £400,000 for a three-bedroom apartment in a block that backs on to the railway tracks at East Croydon.

It might just be that the developers have coughed up the unpaid Community Investment Levy (yep, £360,000 – or less than the price of a single apartment in the three-block development) which saw Croydon Council slap a warning order to halt work on the site before Christmas.

It would appear from their marketing video that Redrow is “selling a lifestyle” here – “If it was easy… it wouldn’t feel as good” – although we don’t believe that having someone waiting for you, laid out on silk sheets in the apartment is included in the price. But who knows, the concierges may be able to assist.

Nor do we think it is possible for the “Morello Quarter” to offer views from its apartment’s balconies quite as seen here…

Anyone else feeling nauseous at this property porn?

Note to Redrow’s marketing department: Make sure you get a proper upgrade from your 1990s non-smart Nokia next time your phone contract’s up for renewal.

 

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