Seriously. You cannot make this shit up.
Jason Perry, the part-time Mayor of Croydon and full-time plastic guttering salesman, is in the middle of probably the greatest crisis this borough has ever seen, a crisis largely of his own making.
The council is sinking under massive debts. Services are being axed, libraries closed. Even the borough’s last remaining lollipop ladies and men, school safety patrols, are just days from being laid off by the cash-strapped council.
Within a matter of days, Croydon Council could be placed under the control of government Commissioners, parachuted in to deal with the “runaway” costs of managing the Town Hall.
And what is Mayor Perry doing? Waffling, for the benefit of a PR agency based in central London.
The invites went out yesterday. So Mayor Perry had had plenty of opportunity to do the right thing, make some apology about being very busy, and pull out of this charade of an event being staged for the benefit of property developers.
But no. He’s going ahead with this hour-and-a-half Breakfast Waffle event, as if there’s nothing untoward going on and everything is normal.
The event is organised by LCA, what used to be the London Communications Agency, who describe themselves as “the integrated communications agency for the built environment”.
They, and this event, are straight out of Negrini-era Croydon.
This kind of boosterism for property speculators, all eager to make a quick buck at Croydon’s expense, is pretty much what got us all in this mess in the first place: joint ventures with development companies, annual trips to the South of France for the “booze and hooker fest” that is MIPIM, Westfield and the Whitgift Centre, Brick by Brick… all were carried along on a tidal wave of “positive PR” and gushing commentary, usually provided by the very firms, or their agents, that stood to make millions from public contracts.
Among the clients LCA and its executives work with are British Land, Related Argent (“an unrivalled UK property business and urban regeneration specialist”) and Stanhope.
Under a heading of “Croydon is Ready”, LCA say that they will “hear about the Croydon opportunity and how the borough will be working with partners over the next few years to bring forward multiple sites…”.
‘Ready’ for what?: how LCA is touting an hour and a half in the company of Croydon’s lame-duck Mayor
And yes, there is public money on offer. Millions of it.
“Jason will also share how the council will be using £30m[illion] of funding to attract new visitors, residents and investors to the town centre through a new programme of improvements.”
By “new programme of improvements”, they must mean Westfield’s seven fried chicken kiosks in the old Allders building, which were promised a year ago and still have yet to open…
No mention was made in LCA’s puffery for their event about the bankrupt borough or the government’s Commissioners, who render piss-poor Perry to be a lame-duck Mayor.
The event is due to be staged at LCA’s High Holborn offices on Tuesday, July 22. By which time it is entirely possible that Jim McMahon, the minister for local government, will have sent in a Commissioner (or Commissioners) to take control of the council, leaving Perry entirely impotent. And this Waffle event entirely pointless.
It might also prove to be the last public event Perry does as Mayor. So not to be missed, just for the laffs.
You can sign up to hear Jason Perry waffle by clicking here.
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Read more: Borrowing plan would lead to council’s ‘collapse’ says report
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