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Mystery over negative campaigning on the Purley Way

Dirty Tory electioneeringAn urgent police investigation is underway in Croydon after there was an outbreak of dirty campaigning ahead of next month’s General Election.

The politically inspired graffiti, pictured right, appeared on a blank advertising hoarding at the junction of Croydon Road and the Purley Way overnight with the message: “Keep out Balls-up and Twit. Vote Conservative. Or Green. Or Anyone else.”

A spokesman for Croydon police refused to comment, but they are believed to be looking for a pudgy-faced gobby fac totum with traces of black paint all over his hands to “assist them with their enquiries”.

“It’s fairly clear that this is not the handiwork of your average Croydon vandal,” a police source told Inside Croydon.

“Look at it. Definitely university-educated – there’s no spelling mistakes.”

The hoarding with the slogan is sited within the safe Tory seat of Croydon South, but it ois on a busy highway just a few minutes away from the borough’s two other seats, including the tightly contested marginal, Croydon Central. Our mole outside Croydon Tories’ head office in Purley said, “It’s nothing to do with Chris Philp, our Croydon South candidate. He’s a multi-millionaire, and he could afford to buy up four or five advertising hoardings around the constituency if he thought that he needed to. Which he doesn’t.

Chris Philp, the Tory candidate in Croydon South, has used advertising hoardings in previous campaigns

“He’s done that before, after all.

“But it’s fair to say that financially, things here are tighter than ever. However, I can categorically deny any suggestion that the pot of paint that was used was bought from B&Q up the Purley Way and paid for by Mike #WadGate Fisher out of his councillor’s allowances.”

Our Tory source refused to comment on whether the painted slogan might have been done to aid the cause of Croydon North Conservative candidate Vidhi Mohan, who is still a little confused about where the constituency begins and ends.

In another development, the office of Sarah Jones, the Labour candidate for Croydon Central, is believed to be preparing a letter for sending to the election agent of her rival, gaffe-prone Gavin Barwell, to enquire whether they have accounted for the advertising hoarding in their official election expenses.


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