It’s a hard life as a backbencher: “Sir” Tricky Dicky Ottaway, left, in the House of Commons. Is he asleep? Or is he just “resting his eyes”?
It must be tough, getting by on the miserable 66 grand salary as a Tory backbencher in the House of Commons.
In our picture, poor old “Sir” Tricky Dicky Ottaway, the hard-working Conservative MP for Croydon South, appears to be asleep, or just bored, as he endures one of his colleagues’ speeches in the House.
Our caption competition is open exclusively to those who actually went out in May 2010 and voted for Ottaway, despite the evidence collected about him in the Telegraph’s MPs expenses scandal.
Is “Sir” Tricky…
(a) dreaming of his next sailing holiday?
(b) thinking that he needs to buy another “special” £2,000 bed from Harrod’s on expenses, because the current one clearly isn’t comfortable enough to get a good night’s sleep?
(c) wondering what needs doing at public expense in the gardens of his country home in Bletchingley?
(d) having a nightmare about 81-year-old pensioner anarchists attacking him in his constituency office? Or
(e) All of the above?
Answers, by email only please, to ottawayr@parliament.uk, with the words “WAKEY WAKEY!” in the subject field.
- Right? Honourable? Ottaway’s expenses easily forgotten
- Arise Sir Tricky Dicky Ottaway – Croydon’s dark knight
- I might have been murdered, claims Croydon MP Ottaway
Coming to Croydon
- Fairtrade Film night, Antenna Cafe, Haynes Lane, Feb 27
- Fairtrade event, Upper Norwood Library, Mar 1
- St David’s Day quiz night, Ruskin House, Mar 1
- Coulsdon and Purley Debating Society, Mar 3
- Patchwork and quilting workshop, Upper Norwood Library, Mar 3
- Fairtrade stall at Food Market, Haynes Lane, Mar 8
- Upper Norwood Library Book Club, Mar 15
- Norwood Society talk, Upper Norwood Library, Mar 20
- South Norwood Lakes Playground group workshop, Mar 25
- David Lean Cinema: Basically Johnny Moped, Mar 27-28
- Croydon Half-marathon, Mar 30
- David Lean Cinema: 12 Years a Slave, Apr 3
- David Lean Cinema: The Great Beauty, Apr 10
- David Lean Cinema: Inside Llewyn Davis, Apr 17
- David Lean Cinema: Short Term, Apr 24
- Crystal Palace Overground Festival, June 26-29
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When the storm clouds are riding through a winter sky
Sail away, sail away
When the waters are rising and your party says bye
Sail away, sail away
When your’ve been going to long
and your expenses were wrong
Why should you prolong your stay?
When the wind and the weather blow your dreams sky high
Sail away, sail away, sail away
When the Bourne seems to difficult to rise above
Sail away, sail away
When Chris Philp feels as dreary as a worn-out glove
Sail away, sail away
But when soon or late
you recognise your fate
That will be your great, great day
On the deck of your yaught with your own true love
Sail away, sail away, sail away
(with apologies to Noel Coward)
Do you mean “yacht”?
The internet is for writing on not reading
No, he meant “yaugh.” This translates into broken-down yacht ready to be towed. drmrs 5/31/2014 (“yaugh”=you are ugly going haggard).
He appears to be sailing away and waiting for the late night shipping forecast.