Times accuses ‘toady’ Philp of ‘exemplary arse-kissing’

Political satirists can make or break an MP’s career.

Chris Philp has long been enthusiastic about Gideon Osborne

Chris Philp has long been enthusiastic about Gideon Osborne

The satire-writers and illustrators do so not with any investigative unearthing of misdeeds, but with a slow, drip-drip of observation of how our parliamentarians perform. They create the image which the broader public ends up remembering about certain MPs.

Think David Steel in the pocket of Spitting Image’s David Owen. Or Steve Bell’s cartoons of John Major and his underpants.

So it’s not a good idea to get on the wrong side of the diarists, as Croydon South MP Chris Philp appears to have done with Patrick Kidd, who writes The Times sketch which for many years was the preserve of Matthew Parris and Hugo Rifkind.

It’s not as if the political diary in Murdoch’s Times is unsympathetic to the Tories usually. But as Philp approaches his first anniversary as an MP, he has undergone his first gentle skewering after a performance in a select committee yesterday which Private Eye would no doubt label “arslikhan”. Writing for The Times, Kidd was much more polite. He said Philp endulged in arse-kissing.

Kidd also called Philp a “toady” for his obsequious, Uriah Heep-style fawning over Chancellor Gideon Osborne.

“It is one thing,” Kidd wrote, “to be a toady in the chamber of the Commons…”

What follows could almost be a description of the career of Philp’s Croydon Tory colleague, Gavin Barwell, who in his six years in the Commons, has risen without trace: “Before you know it, all self respect has gone out the window and you are asking the Prime Minister whether he agrees with you that he is doing a really good job in the hope that he will reward such sycophantic loyalty with a move to deputy bag-carrier with responsibility for teabags.”

In fact, we think that is exactly the job which Barwell gets paid an extra few grand a year to do. And a mighty fine job of doing it he does, too, if you ask him.

Chris Philp is regularly called up to speak on behalf of the Tory Party when Archie Andrews is not available

Chris Philp is a regular stand-in for the Tory Party when  Archie Andrews is not available

But Philp plumbed new depths in committee yesterday.

Since being elected, the new boy has been appointed to the Treasury select committee, and in recent months has been a frequent and very eager interviewee on television and radio whenever Conservative Central Office wanted to wheel out someone to voice the party line, and Archie Andrews is unavailable.

It seems that it is not just when the cameras are rolling that Philp adopts his craven posture.

Observing yesterday’s committee proceedings, Kidd wrote: “’Can you clarify, chancellor,’ Mr Philp said, when given the floor, ‘why it is so important to run a surplus?’ Mr Osborne smiled. ‘I’m glad you asked me that,’ he said. ‘Now, deficits are bad. When I took over, we had an 11 per cent deficit, the worst in history. We need to turn that into a surplus because, well, you never know what’s coming next.’

“I paraphrase only a little. ‘Good,’ replied Mr Philp, hoping that this helpful offering might result in him being promoted to minister for collecting the Chancellor’s dry cleaning. Now for another tester.

“‘Ken Clarke said he’d have been more hawkish than you,’ Mr Philp said. ‘Of course it’s easier to say than to do, but what’s your view of this?’ Mr Osborne explained that, much as he loved the former Chancellor, he had a different view. Mr Philp nodded enthusiastically.

“’Now, sugar tax,’ he went on. ‘Some press [you could feel the curl of his lip], prompted by the manufacturers of soft drinks no doubt, think your policy needs a rethink.’ Mr Osborne demurred. ‘I think they shouldn’t waste time and money on challenging us,’ he said…”

By now, Kidd’s patience had expired. “Truly, this was exemplary arse-kissing.”

It must be so reassuring to the voters of Croydon South that the local Conservatives have managed to install such a skilled arse-kisser to the job-for-life that is being the local MP.

Click here for Chris Philp’s declarations of interest

Click here for the declarations made by Steve Reed OBE

Click here for Gavin Barwell’s 2015 declarations

About insidecroydon

News, views and analysis about the people of Croydon, their lives and political times in the diverse and most-populated borough in London. Based in Croydon and edited by Steven Downes. To contact us, please email inside.croydon@btinternet.com
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6 Responses to Times accuses ‘toady’ Philp of ‘exemplary arse-kissing’

  1. Just goes to show what a pathetic bunch of self seeking waste of space they are.

  2. farmersboy says:

    What makes him worse than Barwell, if such a thing is possible, is that he doesn’t need to with his job for life. Barwell on the other hand has to kiss every arse that goes by in case that’s the one that employs him next

  3. Check out the Guardian. Crace considers that brownnosing is the first, second and third priorities for Philp.

  4. timbartell says:

    He’s too busy kissing arse to reply to my letter asking why he voted to kick the disabled in the arse.

  5. Nick Davies says:

    You lucky lucky people. And you thought Tricky Dicky was bad!

  6. Look,
    if you need to redevelop Montenegran seaside hotels and make money from housing contracts you need all the help you can get,for a variety of reasons.Mandelson will do it from yachts in Monaco,but Philp can only afford a Fawlty Towers in Budwa,at the moment.
    Apart from his lapse on disability,his physics degree makes his laissez-faire attitude to car pollution and incinerators (never heard of them) inexcusable.He shares this dubious distinction with Tom Brake,who saw Beddington through its “troublesome” stage.
    However ridiculous he is making himself now don’t play down his dangerous hard right credentials.He’ll be building academies next and privatising health…extracts from Wiki and Pluto (his company)
    (2013)A development fund launched today aims to boost the number of houses being built in London and the South-East.

    Residential development lender Pluto Finance has set up a £250 million business to lend to property developers with schemes in and around the capital.

    Experts suggest there is a shortage of finance for small residential developers, and Pluto hopes to tap into this demand.

    The new vehicle will provide developers with loans of up to 90% of the cost of the development. The loan will be between £10 million and £30 million, and Pluto aims to lend £250 million over five years. It has secured £100 million from institutional investors and funds.

    The first loan, of £12.1 million, has been made for a 36-home scheme next to the Thameslink station in West Hampstead. Construction will start in August, with completion expected in November 2014.

    Chris Philp, chief executive of Pluto Finance, the residential development finance arm of Pluto Capital, said: “Developers continue to find it difficult to source adequate funding for their schemes.

    “We are helping to fill the gap left by the large number of banks that have withdrawn from the residential property development finance market in the last five years.”
    Philp was Chairman of the Conservative think tank the Bow Group from 2004–2005 and The Key Adviser To Andrew Lansley, Then Shadow Secretary Of State For Health, in the national campaign against MRSA in the run up to the 2005 General Election.

    Philp won against the Labour Leader of Camden Council to be become a Councillor in the Gospel Oak ward of Camden in May 2006 with a swing of over 10%.

    He was the Conservative Parliamentary candidate for Hampstead and Kilburn in 2010, losing by 42[3] votes to Labour MP and former actress Glenda Jackson. In a 2008 interview with The Guardian about his views as a candidate he said “10 years ago I wouldn’t have voted Tory myself.” [4]

    Philp’s book “Conservative Revival: Blueprint for a Better Britain” [5] was published in conjunction with the Bow Group and was co-authored by 10 Conservative MP’s or recent candidates in their 30s.

    Philp was the author of “Work for the Dole: A proposal to fix welfare dependency,” published by The Taxpayers’ Alliance in September 2013. His report called for mandatory participation in community work and training in return for the continued payment of benefits payments.

    In November 2013, Philp was selected to be the Prospective Conservative Party Candidate for Croydon South, held by Richard Ottaway who was retiring from parliament. On 8 May 2015, he was elected MP.
    Pluto: a deep dark planet on the margins,ruled by plutocrats, Pluto (Greek: Hades) is the god of the underworld. Odd associations for a company name,aren’t they?

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