Beware: This is the face of the “modern” Conservative Party in 2014.

Cordelia Roberts Evans, at the centre of the picture of the shooting party, wearing the cool shades, is one of literally dozens of Tory activists, and Chris Grayling, who have signed up to descend on Croydon this Saturday for something that appears to be a glorified piss-up masquerading as campaigning on behalf of Gavin Barwell, the MP for Croydon Central.

Utilising a picture normally associated with Jonny Rose’s Croydon Tech City, the Conservative Party has taken to Facebook to promote a day’s campaigning in Croydon Central, “followed by free bar and free curry!” Wowsers!

Barwell’s seat is reckoned to be a key marginal in next May’s General Election.

More than 2,000 invitations have been sent out on Facebook to youthful Tory activists, such as the gun-toting Cordelia, to lure them with booze and food to the depths of south London on behalf of Barwell. By this morning, a grand total of

103

had said that they would attend.

Those who remember how that icon of the Conservatives, Boris Johnson once got confused and got off a train at East Dulwich rather than his hoped-for destination of East Croydon – (he is only Mayor of London, after all), fear that some of the less-bright young Tories may get lost along the way on Saturday: the campaign stunt is misleadingly titled “Tube Trip 2015”.

The Tube Trip Facebook page includes some encouraging pictures from Portsmouth last weekend, when a similar, Road Trip was staged, with the star turn being … Michael Gove. How could anyone resist?

The Government “big hitter” chosen for Croydon Central is the charisma-bypass that is the Minister for Justice, Chris Grayling. So maybe Conservative Central Office is not pulling out all the stops to assist Barwell’s re-election efforts?

“Come and join us for the first ‘Tube Trip’ as we go to help our great candidates and MP’s [sic; don’t they teach proper grammar at private schools any more?] win across London in 2015,” says the blurb on the Tube Trip page.

“This one will be in Croydon Central where we’ll be making waves by descending en masse to help out one of our hardest working MP’s [sic; I blame the ex-education minister], Gavin Barwell. We’ll be heading there together with people on hand to meet you at London Bridge & London Victoria (both 15 minutes away from East Croydon train station),” ahhh, how sweet. It makes you wonder whether those wishing to attend are normally not allowed out on their own.

“Following an afternoon session that will start at the leisurely time of 1PM (meeting at East Croydon station) interspersed with a break for refreshments, we’ll be hitting up the pub for a FREE BAR followed by a FREE curry. After that, a night on the tiles awaits and will be arranged with trains running 24 hours a day from East Croydon to London Victoria. See you there!”

Good to see the Conservatives have got their priorities right.

Coming to Croydon

• South Norwood Arts Festival, July 5-20
• Love Norbury launch event, July 19
• Boom Band plays the Half Moon Putney, July 19
• Summer butterfly walk, Farthing Down, July 20
• Picnic in Grangewood Park, July 20
• David Lean Cinema: Pantani: Accidental Death of a Cyclist, July 21
• David Lean Cinema: Tracks, July 24
• Lives Not Knives beer fund-raiser, July 24
• Fragile, Spread Eagle Theatre, July 24-26
• CODA’s Midsummer Night’s Dream at Wandle Park, Jul 30-Aug 2
• David Lean Cinema: Locke, July 31
• Elm Tree Cottage garden open day, Aug 10
• Warlingham rugby dinner with international Richard Hill, Sep 12
• Norwood Society Talk: War Memorials, Sep 18
• Streatham Common 6M race, Sep 27
• Norwood Society Talk: From Fire Station to Theatre, Oct 16
• Norwood Society Talk: Lambeth’s Archives, Nov 20

Inside Croydon: Croydon’s only independent news source, based in the heart of the borough: 407,847 page views (Jan-Jun 2014)

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