Chris Philp’s obsequiousness knows no bounds. And that’s not according to us.
Yesterday, Inside Croydon reported how the newish MP for Croydon South had been torn to shreds by The Times – The Times of all papers! – for his fawning display before Chancellor Gideon Osborne at Thursday’s Treasury select committee.
On a committee which was expected to challenge one of the most disastrous Budgets in recent political history, Philp delivered a performance which saw him described in turn as a “toady” and an “arse-kisser”.
But his craven conduct has been noted elsewhere. Soon, Philp will get a reputation. For instance, that “brown-nosing is first, second and third nature” to him.
That is the view of another Fleet Street political sketch-writer, John Crace.
Crace, in the Grauniad, took these notes of the performances in Thursday’s parliamentary committee. His shorthand may not be what it once was, but we’re quite certain he’s managed to capture the gist of what was said:
“A curious budget,” the chairman, Andrew Tyrie, observed. “You’ve locked yourself into arbitrary short-term changes. Why don’t you spare yourself the grief?”
“I’m not afraid of taking difficult decisions,” George replied. Or the wrong ones.
This was all too much for Conservative Chris Philp, a man for whom brown-nosing is first, second and third nature.
“I’ve never once questioned your brilliance, Chancellor,” he said.
“I’m glad to hear that,” George demurred, his eyelids fluttering seductively.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Can you promise to be very fierce about the sugar tax?”
“I am the Sugar Terminator.”
After 10 minutes, Tyrie called time on the tryst. Philp looked desolate. “I’ve got so much more love to give,” he sobbed, doodling a heart above the I on his name badge. It had been a beautiful thing while it had lasted. C heart G.
And Philp is the man whom Croydon Conservatives chose to represent the electorate of Purley, Coulsdon, Kenley and Waddon.
After yesterday’s post, Inside Croydon‘s loyal reader suggested that, with much more of this, the voters of Croydon South might soon be regretting the loss of the arch expenses claimer, Tricky Dicky Ottaway. Things will surely never be that bad.
But at least no one can hold any illusions about which side Philp will be on when the Tory leadership election takes place.
- Still Croydon’s only independent news source, and based in the heart of the borough: 1.97 million page views 2013-2015
- Inside Croydon: Named among best regional media campaigns, 2014
- If you have a news story about life in or around Croydon, a residents’ or business association or local event to publicise, please email us with full details at firstname.lastname@example.org