It’s the annual awards that no local council ever wants to feature in.
Eye, eye, eye: in all good newsagents, and some not so good, today
But this year, thanks to Tory double act Jason Perry and Chris Philp, Croydon Council has picked up no fewer than three “gongs” in Private Eye’s much-anticipated Rotten Borough Awards for 2023.
Lord Gnome, the legendary proprietor of the country’s best-selling fortnightly satirical magazine, has confirmed that in doing so, Croydon has set another unwanted record, as no other authority has ever managed to claim a hat-trick of Rotten Borough titles in one year.
And they also ensured another record, as this was the seventh successive year that Croydon has been nominated for one award or another. The trophy cabinet in chief exec Katherine Kerswell’s office in Fisher’s Folly must be groaning under the weight of all those unwanted but very well-deserved trophies.
Given the omnishambles that the previous lot in charge of Croydon Town Hall left the place (“the ultimate rotten borough”, according to previous Eye reporting), Perry, ably backed up by Croydon South MP Philp, has clearly embarked on a mission of “whatever you do, we can do worse…”.
First, Philp and Perry, jointly, picked up the gong for “Responsible Social Media Initiative”, for the pair’s on-going involvement in a Facebook group that appears to condone, at least, the millions of pounds’ worth of criminal damage inflicted on ULEZ infrastructure in and around Croydon.
Pro-pollution Perry and Philp’s involvement in the “Stop the ULEZ expansion to Croydon” group is, of course, a clear breach of the council’s, and Parliament’s, codes of conduct, breaks a handful of the Nolan Principles, and is especially awks for the MP, who just happens to be… checks notes… a government minister for policing.
What was it that Philp was saying only yesterday? “There is no excuse at all for any criminal activity.” And how many instances of ULEZ vandalism has Philp reported as a result of being a member of the “Stop the ULEZ expansion to Croydon” page? That’ll be zero…
Perry was only elected as Croydon Mayor in 2022, but he is already on track to surpass all the Rotten Borough gongs that even Tony Newman and his sidekick, Paul Scott, managed to accumulate during their wretched time in office.
The Eye has warded Perry the “Must Try Harder” award after he “showed the depth of his political incompetence when he tried to score points off Labour over the previous regime’s disastrous Brick by Brick housing company”, the magazine explained.
What was the worst thing Perry had discovered about the Brick by Brick debacle, the Mayor was asked in a typically patsy question at a Town Hall meeting.
“Finding a two-storey house without a staircase,” Perry replied, only for it to emerge that no such stair-less house ever actually existed. The Mayor had been “misinformed” was Perry’s excuse for lying to a Town Hall meeting.
Perry nabbed his third medal with the “Art of the Deal Award” for his part in the on-going saga over Croydon’s vanished bus shelters – almost three years since the council uprooted its shelters on the promise of big bucks by a New York-based con man who was clearly never properly checked out by council officials.
Today, Tim Minogue, who edits the Rotten Boroughs page, told Inside Croydon: “Croydon council can rightly be proud that the international panel of highly respected judges was once again of the view that this authority was deserving of such recognition at Britain’s most prestigious local government awards.”
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ROTTEN BOROUGH AWARDS: In January 2024, Croydon was named among the country’s rottenest boroughs for a record-breaking SEVENTH successive year in the annual round-up of civic cock-ups in Private Eye magazine
This isn’t fair that year after year Croydon monopolise these awards. Different people delivering the same outcomes. It is as if the problem is a systemic one. Despite this can anyone really see any meaningful reform being provided by the main political parties in the future. I can’t. Croydon will continue to deny other areas their day in the media glare of abject failure.
Regarding Philphy and Piss-Poor’s membership and management respectively of a criminal damage fan-club, as Margaret Thatcher once said, “crime is crime is crime: it is not political”
All Philp has to do is turn his camera onto ‘selfie’ and he can arrest one of the most wanted Criminals on the loose with his Facial Recognition device he favours so much!!
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i noticed that croydon has been voted once again the rotten borough awards in january 2024 however it deserves the title
we have empty shops and stores in the high street croydon st georges walk in croydon looks a derelict dump with homeless people all over the streets we have lost all of our local companies and manufactoring in croydon even some offices have gone from the borough both labour and conservative have not made any great improvements to the borough its falling into decline it would be interesting to mention that milton keynes in buckinghamshire was voted the best place in the country for its businesses in new technology industries along as well having its office based work milton keynes it received a £1million grant to develop drones delivering vital medical supplies to hospitals in the area they already have autonomous vehicles making deliveries to peoples homes in milton keynes would you like to move to milton keynes in buckinhamshire they have just built brand new council flats council bungalows council houses in the borough and more is in the pipeline get on the milton keynes housing register as the conservatives are unpopular in the country
we also need a new alternative political party in croydon as croydon labour party are becoming corrupt croydon can only dream of the £1million pounds grants given to milton keynes by the government