The roads in and around Croydon have more holes in them than a slab of Swiss cheese, with works being undertaken, and then postponed, on Coulsdon Road near The Fox pub, and a dangerously deep sinkhole opening up last week on Hartley Hill in Purley.

Hole in the ground, Croydon style: soakaway works near Coulsdon Common will have to be done again in the summer
The works on the road beside Coulsdon Common started earlier this month with the objective of improving soakaways that had become ineffective, leading to deep, long-lasting puddling and flooding on the busy road. The works caused extensive diversions for buses between Old Coulsdon and Caterham, and were originally due to be completed by last weekend.
But as the excavations went down, the positioning of utilities piping meant that the new drainage measures could not be undertaken. Residents have been told that the works have had to be abandoned for now, the holes filled in, with the intention of the contractors returning to the site to complete the works during the school summer holidays.
The cavernous Purley sinkhole requires urgent safety works to be carried out immediately, which has caused concerns for one local councillor, who has been critical about the length of time it is taking for Croydon Council to ensure “that proper road diversions and signage needs to be put in place”.
Councillor Samir Dwesar has written to residents this week, passing on the email he has received from Croydon’s highways department. “The road had to be closed to traffic immediately for safety reasons while the cause of the sinkhole was investigated,” the council email said.

Hole monitor: Samir Dwesar
According to the council, Thames Water claimed it was nuffink to do with them, guv, and the cause was put down to “a failed soakaway in the carriageway”. Another one…
The council says that the soakaway is almost 14ft deep “and because of the excavation depth that would be needed to repair the soakaway, it is a Health and Safety requirement that a Temporary Works Design must be put in place, to allow the remedial works to be completed without any danger to the workers and members of the public”.
Works to fill in the hole could take up to four weeks to complete, the council official reckons, “subject to no unforeseen circumstances”. Much of the time to complete the works is being taken up in preparing the admin for a works permit.
“Once the works permit has been granted and the traffic management approved, a formal diversion route would be put in place and advanced warning signs erected advising of the precise dates/times of the road closure, and for traffic to follow the diversion signs put in place,” the council said.
The Purley Sinkhole seems as if it might be with us as a fixture for some time to come. Perhaps the council could turn it into a tourist attraction, charging admission to help pay down the borough’s debts.
The spirit of Bernard Cribbens is clearly far from dead in Croydon…
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ROTTEN BOROUGH AWARDS: In January 2024, Croydon was named among the country’s rottenest boroughs for a SEVENTH successive year in the annual round-up of civic cock-ups in Private Eye magazine

They really are a bunch of clowns in the Highways department at Croydon Council.
I have sent two emails (with photos) over the last week to a Ms Jayne Rusbatch (the “Head of Highways and Parking”), regarding some work currently being carried out by a company, apparently on behalf of Croydon Council, on Blacksmiths Hill.
They have been making all manner of noises as early as 7am, and have forced pedestrians into the road with no safe walkway, and at times forced cars up onto the footpaths and verges to get past the works.
The council has not even acknowledged my complaints.
What goes on inside that glass building at Mint Walk is mind boggling!