It is just the first working day since the candidates’ list for the Croydon constituencies was published, and Croydon Council has been forced to issue its first public apology for its latest cock-up.
In charge of managing the elections in Croydon is the council’s £192,000 per year chief exec, Katherine Kerswell.
That’s the same Kerswell who made the borough more of a laughing stock than ever before when she staged the never-ending election count in 2022, which took Croydon four days to deliver its results, when most London boroughs were packing up the ballot boxes and sorting out the paper recycling midway through the Friday morning after Thursday’s polling day.
Typos and date errors: Croydon’s gaffe-prome CEO Katherine Kerswell has made a shabby start to the 2024 General Election
The conduct of the 2024 General Election campaign got off to an inauspicious start on Friday, when Kerswell’s electoral services department issued a list of candidates which had a whopping great typo in the name of someone who has only been an MP for part of the area for nine years.
Chris Philp had become Chris Hilp. Someone had taken the P.
But then on Saturday, the vast majority of voters in the borough were emailed a set of instructions which included the latest gaffe.
According to Croydon Council’s official email, the deadline was applying for a proxy vote – to get someone to vote on your behalf – would be Wednesday July 26. Three weeks after General Election day on July 4.
“Maybe that’s because Kerswell expects to take that long with the count this time?” one Katharine Street wag suggested.
This morning, all those tens of thousands of misinformed voters got another email from Croydon Council, this time with an apology (albeit a grudging one).
Not to be relied on: how the council’s original letter about voting options got the details wrong
“On Saturday we sent you an email regarding voting in the forthcoming General Election,” the latest email said.
“In the email we advised that if you could not attend your polling station on 4 July you could appoint a proxy to vote on your behalf.
“The email stated that the deadline for appointing a proxy was 5pm on Wednesday 26 July.” Then they added: “This was an error.” No shit, Sherlock!
“The deadline for appointing a proxy is 5pm on Wednesday 26 June.” Ahhh… so before the action polling day then? Right…
“The correct proxy vote deadline and all other statutory deadlines are on the council website and on the official poll cards that will be delivered to voters this week.”
They eventually added, “We are sorry for any confusion our original email may have caused.” So that’s alright then.
“Croydon Council’s fucking-everything-up never ends, does it?” said one care-worn Council Tax-payer.
On Friday, in her Weekly Waffle internal email to council staff, Kerswell decided to patronise them all by telling them how important the D-Day landings had been in 1944 (she had heard about it on the radio on her way to work): “A true moment in history,” according to Kerswell, who was clearly impressed by her own knowledge.
And in her classic “suck the egg this way, Granny” approach, she also went to great lengths to explain that, as Croydon’s Acting Returning Officer, she is responsible for the management of the staging of the General Election in the borough.
“A few people have asked me what is the difference between the Returning Officer and the Acting Returning Officer role.”
According to Kerswell, “This can be confusing as the titles are very similar…”. Kerswell clearly believes that all her staff are infantile idiots.
Kola Agboola, as the borough’s ceremonial Mayor, does the ceremonial shit as Returning Officer (so on election night, he will read out the results).
“The Acting Returning Officer, which is the post I hold,” Kerswell explained, painstakingly, “manages the electoral register, the conduct of the election, the arrangements for the count and the count itself working with the elections team.”
Just a shame she doesn’t include proofreading in her job description.
And to think that Kerswell gets paid an extra £20k or so every time Croydon stages an election.
Read more: Kerswell opts to go ‘in-house’ and stage count at Fisher’s Folly
Read more: Scotland Yard’s cyber crime unit investigating Croydon Labour
Read more: Before you next vote, you must read this from The New Yorker
For more information on where to vote on July 4 and for the full list of who is standing for election in your constituency, use our widget here:
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ROTTEN BOROUGH AWARDS: In January 2024, Croydon was named among the country’s rottenest boroughs for a SEVENTH successive year in the annual round-up of civic cock-ups in Private Eye magazine
My prediction for Croydon to declare it’s election results on the following Monday to gather more publicity for the locality and boost attention for new investors is growing stronger by the day. By taking full control of the election process Kursebad will use her inner incompetence to deliver more notoriety for Croydon.
Stalin said words to the effect that it’s not who votes that count, it’s who counts the votes. He was referring to a Kremlin conspiracy to get the right results. Here we’re all set for another Croydon cock-up that will delay getting any results at all. Bernard Weatherill House? Fawlty Towers, more like it
“the vast majority of voters in the borough were emailed a set of instructions”
Really?
I would never give my e-mail address to my local council.
Why would Croydon Council have so many e-mail addresses?
Croydon Council has spent the last decade or more in a drive to be “digital first”, in an effort to reduce costs by avoiding wherever possible any actual contact between residents and council staff.
And you hadn’t noticed?
I take your point.
They collect e-mail addresses but don’t reply to e-mails!
Fortunately I don’t live in Croydon, so don’t have to suffer these incompetents.
Isn’t that code for being bone idle?
It really isn’t. It’s senior management (who keep their very well-paid jobs, regardless of performance) looking to make “savings” by reducing the number of lower paid staff, or increasing the work-load of the council’s lowest paid.