What does the Monster Raving Loony party candidate for Croydon North have in common with Conservative MP Gavin Barwell, Cuddly Dudley Mead, the deputy leader of Croydon Council, and the very ex-Tory Andrew Pelling?
The answer: John Cartwright, aka John Loony, like Barwell, Mead and Pelling, is an Old Mid-Whitgiftian, as they all went to the same private school, Trinity. We’ll leave it to Inside Croydon‘s loyal reader to determine whether that is the end of the similarities.
In these days when mental health issues are taken seriously, Cartwright is again using the often offensive “loony” tag for his candidature. After a hiatus to consider his candidacy because of his professed respect for the late Malcolm Wicks, the MP for the northern Croydon constituency for 20 years whose death a month ago has caused the by-election, Cartwright puts himself forward as a pro-coalition government, pro-cuts and anti-EU candidate.
Unlike most candidates in the by-election on November 29, Cartwright says his aim is to score as low a vote as possible. So he hopes that voters will not take a shine to his manifesto.
That may not be difficult. If Cartwright does manage to dissuade people from fancying him as a politician, he may attract unwelcome attention because he has dedicated much of his his party website to a “HunkWatch WAAAAGH!!!”, in which he ranks 19 men he fancies, including 15-year-old Jake Foushee.
Cartwright, who is 44 years old, particularly likes a named Trinity boy who left the school last year whom he describes as “a delightfully handsome, lean, athletic, muscular rugby player” and as “the most gorgeous ex-pupil that Trinity School, Croydon, has produced in the whole of the 21st century”.
It is almost as if Cartwright has not read any newspaper front pages or watched any television news bulletins for the past two weeks.
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