Captain Sensible has called on the people of Croydon to “get up off their arses” and take up their scrubbing brushes, their brooms and buckets, and start to get the borough cleaner, doorstep by doorstep.
The former Damned frontman is due to attend the official unveiling of the Sensible Seat, a park bench named in his honour on a piece of reclaimed waste ground opposite his old school, the one-time Stanley Tech in South Norwood, this Saturday.
And the Captain, also known as Raymond Burns, wants the whole of Croydon to be more “old school” when it comes to taking pride in our neighbourhood, starting with a bar of carbolic on our own doorsteps.
“Despite this event being a bit tongue in cheek, I do believe that people shouldn’t just wait on their local council to keep everything in their area looking nice and dandy,” Captain Sensible wrote on Facebook.
“If folk don’t wish to live in squalor, get off your arses and tidy the place up yourselves,” he said.
“Fifty years ago, owners of terraced houses used to scrub their portion of the pavement right down to the gutter… they all did, and working class streets positively sparkled in those days.
“Often derided as a lazy b****rd, even I am occasionally seen with a bin liner clearing up burger cartons and Coca-Cola cups where I live. In fact, I get some small sense of pride out of having made the street a little bit nicer.”
It is a point of view which chimes with the South Norwood Tourist Board, Crystal Palace Transition Team and the ever-busy Robert Gibson, who have done much of the work to transform one small corner of South Norwood to create the Sensible Garden. There is even some echo of the “Don’t Mess With Croydon – Take Pride” slogan recently adopted by the council.
“You usually have to wait until you’re dead and gone before receiving your own bench with name on and all that,” Sensible said. “But protocol has been overlooked in my case, probably in the interests of a jolly up in the pub after the grand opening.”
Coming to Croydon
- David Lean Cinema: Tracks, July 24
- Lives Not Knives beer fund-raiser, July 24
- Fragile, Spread Eagle Theatre, July 24-26
- CODA’s Midsummer Night’s Dream at Wandle Park, Jul 30-Aug 2
- David Lean Cinema: Locke, July 31
- Mind-Loosening Workshop, Aug 2
- Upper Norwood Library Book Club, Aug 2
- Patchwork and quilting workshop, Upper Norwood Library, Aug 4
- Mythical Maze stories, Crystal Palace Maze, Aug 6
- Elm Tree Cottage garden open day, Aug 10
- Mythical Maze stories, Crystal Palace Maze, Aug 13
- Mind-Loosing Workshop, Aug 16
- Cinema Ruskin film show, Aug 16
- Mythical Maze stories, Crystal Palace Maze, Aug 20
- Mythical Maze stories, Crystal Palace Maze, Aug 27
- Upper Norwood Library well-being groups, Aug 30
- Warlingham rugby dinner with international Richard Hill, Sep 12
- Norwood Society Talk: War Memorials, Sep 18
- Cinema Ruskin film show, Sep 20
- Streatham Common 6M race, Sep 27
- Norwood Society Talk: From Fire Station to Theatre, Oct 16
- Cinema Ruskin film show, Oct 18
- Norwood Society Talk: Lambeth’s Archives, Nov 20
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