It would appear that the politicians-kissing-babies-in-public season may soon be upon us

Inside Croydon is delighted to present our loyal reader with another outstanding offer. And this one is far from exclusive.

You get the chance to meet Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London – and the next leader of the Conservative Party, no doubt – without having to pay any fee (as was the case when he did a turn for the local Tory party back in March).

Among the questions you can ask the Mayor of London:

• Just what has his £23 million Riot Recovery Fund been spent on in Croydon?
• What was the secret agreement he reached with a Chinese billionaire to sell part of the publicly owned Crystal Palace Park to private interests?
• Why are there fewer police on the streets of our borough now than there were in 2011?
• Was the Mayor deliberately lying (again) when he promised a tram extension in 2012, or is he just too incompetent to realise he never budgeted for the project?
• As an Old Etonian, does Boris support sending children to posh private schools, or does he think parents should seek out grammar schools in other boroughs for their children?

This outstanding opportunity for public accountability – something to which Mayor Johnson rarely subjects himself – is brought to us courtesy of “Gavin from Sanderstead”.

“Gav”, as he is sometimes known, has invited Boris Johnson to visit Croydon again on September 22, “to launch my re-election campaign”.

In an email sent out to thousands of people this week, Gav says, “If you think I have done a good job and want me to stay as your MP, come along…”.

The email from Gav is apparently some sort of appeal for help. 

“If I’m going to win, I’ll need support from people like you. Whether you can deliver a few leaflets, host a meeting with your neighbours in your home, donate a few pounds or display a poster at election time, every little helps,” Gav says.

“Every time I vote in the House of Commons some (hopefully most!) of my constituents will agree with the way I’ve voted,” says the man who in more than four years and after more than a thousand votes has managed to follow his party whip slavishly on every occasion, bar three. 

“I can look you in the eye and say that I have done the job to the best of my ability,” Gave says. How sweet. 

“I’ve tried to be a strong voice for Croydon,” he goes on, “getting funding from the government in the wake of the 2011 riots…”

Oddly, Gav doesn’t mention here how, when seeking election in 2010, he also promised he would also go to the government and persuade them to move thousands of jobs to Croydon from Whitehall. That, after four years, has not happened. Gav’s biggest contribution to reducing unemployment figures in Croydon has been to offer six-months’ unpaid work to any youngsters gullible enough to foresake their entitlements to benefits, or other paid work opportunities.

London Mayor Boris Johnson, pictured with the non-existent Crystal Palace tram service, as featured on the website of Gavin Barwell MP

He continues by reminding us that he played a role, “… helping to bring Westfield and Hammerson to the town”.

It is interesting that Gav is now laying claim to a personal role in the success of this scheme, apparently to help further his political career. For Gav is a member of the board of governors of the Whitgift Foundation, the owners of the property which Hammersfield will be developing, at considerable benefit to the Foundation.

And so, to Gav’s unbeatable offer of a chance to meet the Tory Party leader-in-waiting.

Don’t be put off by the email address he’s using: as he and Boris Johnson are both holders of public office, such a meeting can surely not be limited just to members of any one political party.

“I know Boris would love to meet you,” Gav says. “If you’re able to make it, email boris@croydonconservatives.com or call 020 8660 0491. Places are limited so don’t delay.”

• Exclusive readers’ offer: a free glass of wine for diners at Albert’s Table

Coming to Croydon

• RAF Kenley Battle of Britain fly-past, Aug 17
• Mythical Maze stories, Crystal Palace Maze, Aug 20
• David Lean Cinema: Stop The Pounding Heart, Aug 21
• Mythical Maze stories, Crystal Palace Maze, Aug 27
• David Lean Cinema: Frank, Aug 28
• Upper Norwood Library well-being groups, Aug 30
• David Lean Cinema: The Two Faces of January, Sep 4
• David Lean Cinema: Fading Giglolo, Sep 6
• David Lean Cinema: Camille Claudel, Sep 11
• Warlingham rugby dinner with international Richard Hill, Sep 12
• Norwood Society Talk: War Memorials, Sep 18
• David Lean Cinema: Chef, Sep 18
• Cinema Ruskin film show, Sep 20
• David Lean Cinema: A Night At The Cinema in 1914, Sep 22
• David Lean Cinema: Jimmy’s Hall, Sep 25
• Streatham Common 6M race, Sep 27
• Norwood Society Talk: From Fire Station to Theatre, Oct 16
• Cinema Ruskin film show, Oct 18
• Norwood Society Talk: Lambeth’s Archives, Nov 20

Inside Croydon: Croydon’s only independent news source, based in the heart of the borough: 407,847 page views (Jan-Jun 2014) If you have a news story about life in or around Croydon, a residents’ or business association or local event, please email us with full details at inside.croydon@btinternet.com