Croydon Council staff who inhabit the lofty realms of the seventh floor of Fisher’s Folly were horrified when they heard the news that Elaine Jackson, the assistant chief executive (a post that was created especially for her) had broken her leg, possibly in five places.

Out of action: Kerswell’s assistant, Elaine Jackson
With Jackson indisposed for an indefinite period, “Who will make tea for CEO Katherine Kerswell?” was the question everyone wanted to ask (but no one dared say out loud).
The crisis may soon be averted, however, as Kerswell moves to recruit yet another six-figure salaried exec at the cash-strapped council.
A meeting to be held next Monday morning in Fisher’s Folly’s Orwellianly titled Room 101, at which the appointment of a “director of customer experience and technology” is to be discussed.
Jackson would normally handle such coarse matters as recruitment of staff, but Kerswell’s report to the meeting states that in her absence, “our corporate director resources… is deputising”.
Shortlisted candidates will “meet with a panel made up from members of the Council Management Team, prior to the final interview”, the report reveals.
Kerswell has almost certainly already decided who she wants to appoint, and how much they are to be paid (Grade 3: £122,803 to £127,684), but this meeting is the kind of thing where she’s able to go through the motions and pretend that she’s consulting the borough’s elected representatives – councillors – and piss-poor Perry, Croydon’s part-time Mayor.
Most of the hard detail is kept strictly secret from the public and tax-payers, but Kerswell does outline the purpose of the director of customer experience and technology’s job.

Digital whizz: Kerswell’s report to next week’s appointments committee, in which she recommends hiring another well-paid exec
Someone is already doing the job, on an interim basis, which means they are being paid a rate even higher than the generous salary Kerswell is proposing.
Apparently, whoever gets the post, it will be their task to be the “lead senior officer responsible for technology, cyber security, digital and data strategies, portfolios of change and investments/budgets to enable organisational outcomes”.
“Portfolios of change”, enabling “organisational outcomes”.
The new £127,000 per year director will also be “lead senior officer responsible for creating, managing and executing customer experience strategy to deliver seamless customer experiences across all stages and touchpoints”.
“Seamless”. Ha!
Whoever gets the job might think they’ll be earning their salary when they see that they must “Ensure core technology and infrastructure is operating optimally, resiliently, and securely”. At Croydon Council. Good luck with that…
“Lead on strategic IT sourcing, procurement, and commercial activity.”
Know any good “smart” bus shelter suppliers?
“Continually re-imagine and promote the vision for technology to enable the organisation to achieve its ambition.”
Then there’s, “Act as agitator, disruptor, and collaborator to help drive innovation.”
And there’s, “Provide thought leadership and sector wide impact on the role of technology, digital and data in local government.”
Finally, there’s, “Lead and embody an inclusive culture, actively promoting diversity and equality both in the team and outside it.” Which, as the recent Employment Tribunal brought against the chief executive demonstrated, Kerswell knows very little about.
Inside Croydon would like to wish all prospective candidates good luck, but under present circumstances, it might be more appropriate to adopt the theatrical greeting: Break a leg!
Read more: Mayor Perry forced to issue apology for PCNs ‘software error’
Read more: Council’s digital bus shelters partner is late to file accounts
Read more: Chief digital officer quits council after splashing the cash
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ROTTEN BOROUGH AWARDS: In January 2024, Croydon was named among the country’s rottenest boroughs for a SEVENTH successive year in the annual round-up of civic cock-ups in Private Eye magazine

Everyone in Croydon can tell you exactly what their experience is over the last ten years.
Crap service.
You don’t need to advertise the job to ask such an obvious question…
Love it, Steve! More brilliant reporting, many thanks
How can they justify spending so large amount of money instead of putting there books right and improving services.
We al await with baited breath the o new increase in our council tax